This post is rather late. But nvm..

Thank you bff for celebrating my bday with me and all the presents.. It is rather impt to me this year cos I need pple to accompany me so I won't think so much.. I was really hoping that they would text or fb me just a simple happy birthday.. But no matter how I waited... It is still nothing from them.. Of cos it does not really matter.. I really can't imagine how much I love them.. So much so much that I also can't believe it.. Hahaha..

My aim next is........ Overseas, lv/burberry belt!! Of cos scoring for uol(:

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All of a sudden I just wake up from sleep at 12mid night.. Looking through all the SMS i kept that u all had sent me.. Before tt incident happened, I felt so touched.. So loved by u all.. Maybe is my mistake to gave that letter.. But what has done already done.. 1 will never realize the importance of another until crucial time.. I know u all will never be back again.. I know I still love u all.. I know even if u all are going to come back, I will not have u all back too even I really want u all to be around me.. I also don't know why... Maybe u all too jue Qing already bah... The smses I kept the 1st one from devin explaining on the 1st day I had them back again saw 3 of them at 404 ball court yet we dint talk.. Till how in-between they say sorry to me cos I am angry till the incident.. I realize alot of things.. It is really time to move on and forget about them.. Maybe going overseas to leave this sad place for a period of time is the best.. That is what I want but only till I ord save enough den can...

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it is going to be 2011..

so many things happened this year.. from my 21st to all my bff, other friends 21st.. this year is a special year, be it good or bad.. from May,i parted my 3 dearest sons, aaron, devin, and aloysius. den i went malaysia with camp for the 14days.. come back break den go malaysia with my 2 secondary sch bff again.. den busy with camp things till around late august, the 3 of them came tgt and sms me asking me back.. yet i rejected.. den during sept when celebrating eunice 21st, at 3am, my dear son devin said sorry to me in msn.. i was touched.. and the very next day i xin ruan, and had them back with me again.. i was so happy to have them back then.. the happiness is cant be describe.. i was then having no confidence that we will be as happy as before after that 4months of not contacting each other.. they sms me give me confidence and we were really happy whenever we go out, meet, eat.. i can remember all the good time with them.. den till 13nov we went marina bay sands for the aaron birhtday celebrationg that he so wanted to go.. and due to the things happened in between that i decided to give them up even i am so unwilling in heart.. den i regretted trying hard to have them back.. and all my cryings.. till now, i see them, i dont even dare to call them.. that happiness that i had is gone.. and will be gone forever.. i had never been so emotional.. i saw the sms in the past that they had sms me, i remember how we play basketball and had a long long chat.. teach them maths and sci during their exam period.. having so many quote line that i said that they use to disturb me.. like separate bill, hun qiu,and how they disturb me using 1 english song that has low low low low low in the lyrics.. illuma that we had all our memories.. marinabaysands of cos.. orchard central, 313 and so many so many place.. even sembawang shopping center.. how much they care that i was angry with them.. how they were around me making me smile, laugh.. watching horror movie, go arcade play throw the basket ball de.. no matter how broke i was, spending all i could on them, getting them what they want.. as long as they happy, i was happy.. really happy.. after 1month plus.. i cant believe that i still miss them so much, i tried not to go see their fb daily.. i tried not to think finding as many distractions i could.. if anyone ask what i like most, i will ans to play mahjong, but who i love most, i no other than my 4 god sons aaron, devin, zachary and aloysius.. even now we are like not even friends except for zachary.. i cant believe that up till this point of time i still can tear for them..

so many things happened.. so so many.. my new year resolution, my birthday wish is to have them with me forever.. and my 5th god son to be borned safely in around 4months time..

aaron, devin and aloysius: if u 3 ever came across this entry, i just want to let u all know i still love u all as my sons..this will never change even we wont be together like the past anymore.. but if u 3 ever encounter anyproblem, i am always willing to help..you all left me with so many unforgetable memories, really thank you for being the fireworks in my life all these while.. really thank you and i appreciate.. enjoy your life and take good care of yourself(:

with love,
godfather alex.

i will be back this thurs evening.. cos sun guard duty den fri off.. date me!!

i have been more and more lazy on posting..

had a great dinner and chats with lynette and angela today.. really nice to meet up.. so long nv talk till so happy.. so nice to see friends having a simple dinner and chats.. really happy.. at least it bring up my mood alot..

cos yesterday something happened.. i just got pissed and went off.. more of disappointment actually.. sometimes when u are too nice to people, they will really take u for granted.. think most pple are like this.. maybe i myself is this type of person? this is the thing i hate most in fact.. so yesterday afternoon i went to call those uncle aunty play mahjong, so maybe i shd thank the incident so i win back some money yesterday from playing mahjong..

i wanted to cook dinner for lynette and angela today de, but dont have the courage cos i scared not nice.. some more 1 dish is i new learn one, haven try myself before.. but tmr i will cook.. miss cooking, have not cook ever since enter ns.. so is like 10 months..

i watch 1 show inside got this chinese priest says: to love sometimes u need to learn how to let go, love is to give them freedom and not restraint your love one.. and this comply with angela ur tt friend gf.. this is what she needs to learn..

The importance of all of u:

my family, mum and all - i know none of u will see this but still, don worry too much.. ( even my mum just told me she start to worry and have no appetite already.. and wanted to cry liao) don worry too much.. i will take care of myself, just treat as i going taiwan for 2 weeks..

next my 4 god sons:

zachary chen


i not sure if u will see this post, but remember don be so guai lan outside, u know ur size not big.. things can avoid den avoid.. need help can find bo shen they all.. need his number can ask ah neh or from alvin ka zhua they all.. can sms me, i will reply whenever i can.. now holiday can play la, don go work la.. enjoy more impt.. take care of urself ...

Devin lim


u and zach the same, don so guai lan outside.. anything can tolerate den tolerate..  for u is game don play so much.. must try to go normal acad.. so still need to study once awhile.. anything can find zach.. take care of urself too..

aaron sim



actually just saw u today even i dint say anything.. for u, i know u very good.. got control got limit.. but must take care of urself also.. anything happen same find zachary.. he know u.. if not say my name.. don have his number find devin take..


aloysius liew




for u, u are the most playful and most cute one.. dint expect u are the younger bro of my pri sch classmate.. u also taake care of urself and anything happen also can find zachary, but he dunno u.. so find devin get his number and ask devin help u tell him..




poly dearest:

angela yeo


thank you for coming to accompany us today(: we must meet up after we 1st booked out.. for a simple meal at least.. thank you for singing the difficult "jia hou" for me((: appreciated!!

kelvin seah



thanks bro for coming to accompany us((: u always nv fails to make us laugh.. but not bad la, today u also learned some skills of mahjong from me.. meet up when we book out..

jeffrey tan



hey bro, we are out to accompany each other today.. so coincidence we go in army same day.. same sch.. really hope same bunk.. lets pray.. also, hope not ninja la.. LOL.. no matter what, take care of urself inside too.. anything if we not same company not same bunk also can try to find me inside.. like need phone or mp3, or coins or whatever.. i think u can only find me at night..

lynette lai



nette, thanks alot for coming today and i zhen tian le hen duo shen hou le qu.. hope u understand the chinese.. LOL.. thank you again for the bing gan and chocolate.. appreciate that.. the next time we meet up i will be botak liao.. can take pic again liao.. LOL.. see u in abt 2-3 weeks time when i book out.. thank you for lending me the cable too((:


eunice lim



last but not least, eunice, the reason u are the last cos i have the most to say to u.. 1st is also thank you for coming and the bing gan and chocolates... next is i know u will be very worried about J.. and miss him, but don worry so much.. at least he has friend inside now, which is me.. i will lend him anything if there is a need, help him if i can.. so dont worry so much.. if sometimes u cant contact him can call me to check.. hope we bunk mate den ya, can help each other more.. don worry so much.. treat it as we go camping overseas.. also must meet up when we booked out..

* reason i use we book out instead of i, is cos i included J inside..

i know i will sure miss all of u de..

Current Mood: worried